Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
