Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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