Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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