I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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