Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
