I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
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i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
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Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.