careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.