What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
