what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
