I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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