scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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