Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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