Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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