is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
