the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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