mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married