Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.