But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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