Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
