it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
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I just googled if crying burns calories
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
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I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize