Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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