Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
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