I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
