any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
