Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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