I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
