I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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