you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
