I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be naked everywhere
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize