Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
