he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
