Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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