Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
