Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
