She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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