well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
