I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
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