What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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