The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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