Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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