I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
