I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
