She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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