Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
