Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
