Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
