Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id. http://tfl.nu/1l5p
  Replies (19) Good night (661) Bad night (2510)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment http://tfl.nu/ipb9
  Replies (18) Good night (3722) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go http://tfl.nu/uzsa
  Replies (27) Good night (5411) Bad night (1379)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues. http://tfl.nu/ux3u
  Replies (19) Good night (8457) Bad night (1165)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you http://tfl.nu/wyc5
  Replies (8) Good night (3919) Bad night (729)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be

  (325): View more from Texas

  Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (325): This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be (325): Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets http://tfl.nu/9qmi
  Replies (3) Good night (945) Bad night (1287)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off http://tfl.nu/ws61
  Replies (7) Good night (5180) Bad night (901)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands. http://tfl.nu/nkts
  Replies (5) Good night (1953) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  What kind of balloon animal was it?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor. (1-503): What kind of balloon animal was it? http://tfl.nu/lyo1
  Replies (12) Good night (2054) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits! http://tfl.nu/vxu6
  Replies (5) Good night (1164) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?

  (650): View more from California

  I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address? (650): I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days. http://tfl.nu/fel9
  Replies (3) Good night (1057) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?! http://tfl.nu/237p
  Replies (4) Good night (841) Bad night (258)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other. http://tfl.nu/sl8d
  Replies (7) Good night (1026) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face." http://tfl.nu/jkkv
  Replies (0) Good night (322) Bad night (445)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding. http://tfl.nu/dq8r
  Replies (2) Good night (266) Bad night (558)

Randomize