Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.