Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling

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  (914): so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling http://tfl.nu/v4vu
  Replies (38) Good night (4670) Bad night (836)
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  (209): View more from California

  just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment

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  (209): just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment http://tfl.nu/1qk7
  Replies (6) Good night (2610) Bad night (770)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'

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  (847): just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame' http://tfl.nu/un7j
  Replies (16) Good night (3944) Bad night (4013)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"

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  (732): So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?" http://tfl.nu/5x5l
  Replies (78) Good night (1018) Bad night (17051)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.

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  (412): One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging. http://tfl.nu/rajk
  Replies (29) Good night (4216) Bad night (1219)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?

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  (412): At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks? http://tfl.nu/fbfw
  Replies (8) Good night (1271) Bad night (2873)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to

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  (206): It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to http://tfl.nu/3nm2
  Replies (9) Good night (5028) Bad night (923)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.

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  (817): he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes. http://tfl.nu/jo0i
  Replies (7) Good night (1092) Bad night (3267)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major

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  (480): Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major http://tfl.nu/g5od
  Replies (5) Good night (1822) Bad night (963)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.

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  (518): Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday. http://tfl.nu/c6q7
  Replies (13) Good night (3344) Bad night (1325)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags

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  (610): I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags http://tfl.nu/4wxr
  Replies (6) Good night (1016) Bad night (1704)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.

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  (920): Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets. http://tfl.nu/3ocj
  Replies (12) Good night (797) Bad night (1694)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.

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  (734): The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake. http://tfl.nu/3nh1
  Replies (2) Good night (1128) Bad night (712)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.

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  (937): Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog. http://tfl.nu/gtv2
  Replies (3) Good night (559) Bad night (301)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus

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  (727): I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus http://tfl.nu/mpo6
  Replies (2) Good night (770) Bad night (155)

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