No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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