I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
no more duck duck goose at the bar
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point