Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
