I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
