He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
