Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
