I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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