It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
from now on my penis is your penis
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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