3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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