I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
