So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Farmville is her only friend.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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