You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
