Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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