need another drink. this is the easiest way
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
