how hairy? two words: wookie tits
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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