I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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