Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize