So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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