Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
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Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
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This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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