Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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