OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
