ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize