I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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