why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Randomize
