yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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